angela screamed across the room SHES A CHAMP when i told the pharmacist plan b doesnt make me throw up
Anyone who says sunshine brings happyness has never woken up with the worst hangover of their life to their window being open and it being a bright shinny day
i was like hansel and gretel. i puked a trail from mcdonalds to our place so i could find my way back in the morning
Miserable. My projectile vomit just woke me up from a 5.5 hour nap.
The bathroom is trashed. Someone took down all the rings of the shower curtain and Scott threw up on the curtain liner. All the soap and shampoo is in the guest bedroom and the lightbulbs are in a drawer. And there are vom footprints.
yeah he couldn't walk in a straight line and started throwing up and told the cop he just has an astigmatism
Im pretty sure you told the waiter at Dennys last night to take your pants off or show a nipple.
You are number one in my heart. But in the dick Olympics you're disqualified.
If there was a saddle on his sack, she would ride it.
Completely smashed, masturbating to the view of the ocean. Family vacations are more tolerable than I thought
I'M SO WET FOR FREEDOM
HOW DO I ALWAS FIND THEM?! THERE WAS BE A SOCIETY OF SMALL PENISED MEN AND I MUST BELONG TO IT!
Just woke up, shitty hungover, and realized that every article of clothing I slept in was backwards, bra included. Fuck you, gin. Fuck you.
COKE WAS NOT ON THE ITINERARY FOR TONIGHT.
He's my blizzard buddy. We're blowing lines and doing a 3D game of thrones puzzle
Randomize
