You told him your wedding ring was part of your costume. not okay!!
You were so drunk that you were trying to take pictures of a MILF at the park so you could send them to Adam, but you didn't want to "seem creepy," so you used taking pictures of her son as a cover. Needless to say, cops were called.
Beer is about to convince me to do something really stupid.
I'm drinking Dom Perignon from the bottle with a straw just to piss of some french dude.
answer the phone. i thought i was eating cheese but it was butter. i ate a lot of it.
I love him. He's like the father I never had that I kind of want to fuck.
all of the sudden, the other guy at the bar who was celebrating his birthday got a super inspired look on his face and then screamed at me ''our parents fucked on the same day!''
I told him he was probably the first guy to get fucked while wearing Star Wars pyjamas.
I feel like there is something fundamentally wrong with me as a woman. My initial text to you was "What's up, fuck bucket?"
We made a pact to go to the nursing home together... that way we could stay high till the bitter end. Do you not remember?
I just felt emotion and I'm not okay with it
i sent him a nude and he responded 6 hours later
what did he say?
"oh m god,,, whow '!!!!nm"
he's been dating her for 18 months and cheating on her with me for 16. if that's not commitment, i don't know what is.
Such a shame we didn't work out. We would've been a power couple producing NFL linemen :/
He was eating me out on a picnic table on the frame lake trail and right after I came, a group of hikers walked around the corner. Stood up just in time
And this is one of the many reasons why you need a car.
Randomize
