FB needs to have a relationship status called...screwing my roommates bf..linking their names would be an easier to tell her!
he mailed me a thank you note for the blowjob.
I woke up and my clothes were soaked in the shower and I was wearing a Ghostbusters uniform. I'm shocked she hasn't left me yet.
He sang nursery rhymes to my vagina to get me to have sex with him..
He may or may not be blacked out. We put him to sleep in the community bathroom. He's wrapped in your blanket and he's already puked on it twice. Using your blanket was my idea. Maybe next time you'll ask before taking my vodka.
After he called me a "spirited little girl" I realized that I need to stop sleeping with guys more than ten years older than me.
I'm just concerned it's gonna end up in my vagina again
Can we end it on a good note at least? Can we fuck and then never talk again?
My dad caught me fucking in the pool last night. He proceeded to tell me I needed to "quiet things down" while this guys dick was still in me. Worst daughter ever.
She saves ONE person's life while blacked out and now she's positive anything can be done "while fucking hammered"
I hate you so much right now. You got us kicked out of my favorite bar because your drunk ass was hogging the Bluetooth jukebox and would play NOTHING but that goddamn skeleton song. IT'S NOT EVEN OCTOBER YET.
Spopky scrzy skeletonssz
Thought about it. I'm gonna go to work, but I'm gonna tell them I wrestled a bear saying I fell just isn't working.
He broke into my house because he missed me. Then ends the relationship because I'm the needy one. Ironic much?
yeah true but how easily can you rip a scrotum
In California. Through an entire game + OT. That’s a long time to have an octopus in your pants.
Randomize
