Who knew there were guys that wanted to only stalk you instead of date you? Count on me to find them!
walking home from your place the other day I saw a man with a ponytail sitting on some church steps petting a plant
he should get drunk with us
38 yer olds are good kisserssss
I assumed she put out when I heard her friend call her "dickbutt"
i regret nothing . he quoted dr. suess . he deserved that bj .
I was puzzled last night that there were shots waiting for us when we got there. Just read my messages and saw you were ordering from the bar via texts.
I FOUND THE NORMAL CONDOMS. THIS IS GOD TELLING ME TO CHASE AFTER MY DREAM.
Like wrapping my dick in silk, wrapping that in velvet, and putting it in a cloud. A warm, tight, wet cloud.
found $100 my ex got arrested and I can receive free health insurance I gotta tell ya 2014 is really going to be my year
My stuff that was at your place last night smells like doughnuts. I'm not even mad.
Successfully defrauded the county government. What have you done today?
i need some fresh meat. meat that has a license and a job and isn’t a FULL-blown alcoholic. partial i could tolerate, bc, haha, let’s be honest, me likey my drinkies.
How drunk is too drunk to be on an airplane?
By 9 pm this evening I'll have accomplished smashing with two different guys in two different time zones in the same day.
Stay hydrated
I should've known a straight guy wouldn't know all the words to Moana
Randomize
