my boyfriend just named your boyfriend's penis.
so for future reference,at what point did you feel like a line had been crossed?
just because you are in college doesnt mean its okay to pregame easter mass.
..and then spiked the maple syrup at iHop
There are walks of shame and then there are walks of what the hell is wrong with you.
I can't wait to go to grad school so I am not your high unemployed friend.
DUDE, DID YOU KNOW YOU CAN JUST RENT AN ELEPHANT???
Oh God.
I thought 4 percs were too many but I'm dumping Gogurt on apple pie and taking giant bong rips. This feels right.
Not going to lie- I'm a little freaked out camping right now. This is one of those high activities you don't do by yourselves...or close to bears
I was so high I told him we should rub faces and pretend to be wombats. He was surprisingly enthusiastic about it.
I don't fucking know. I'm out stimulating the economy. Not locked in a room with a marker board.
Oh at the liquor store again?
I've never had someone have to dis-arm themselves before I sucked their dick prior to that
There's nothing wrong with using cocaine to keep my heart rate up in my fitness class.
So, random question. How much should you tip a Lyft driver when you realized you've fucked his sister? Asking for a friend.
i'm pretty sure my brother is still drunk from last night. he's telling my parents that humans are at the top of the food chain for a reason and listing off all the exotic animals he would eat
Randomize
