the the hell do you 'accidentaily" jizz on a shirt thats folded in a drawer?
You took all of my sister's dolls and threw them out the window and then you started talking to her etcha sketch and mr. potato head. I later found you passed out in front of Toy Story and it all made sense.
Nothing like hearing a USA chant while getting head. God bless America.
We talked him into tasing himself.
let's see, i ended up walking for an hour towards a macdonalds that didnt exist, sprinted full tilt into a powerline, and left a 30 dollar tip to a waitress at dennys we made friends with. I REGRET NOTHING
Just made a list of all the guys I've hooked up with. "Roofie tattoo eyelids", "xanex night guy", "rainy concert", "cory blanket" and "naked hottub guy" made it.
Adults smoke weed in footie pajamas man. You just gotta accept me for who I am.
whose parrot is this?
The more I think about it, the more convinced I am that I'm the solution to all of T-Swift's guy problems.
Clearly I'm trying to change the world one fuck at a time
you DO IT for the people
He suffocated between her tits, but she didn't notice because he still came.
I'm just drunk enough to be eating egg rolls on the toilet
Not to play devil's advocate, but, considering how our species has evolved so far... I'm kinda rooting for the sun on the whole heat death thing.
Fun. You missed it. Michael broke a door with his erection.
I need your help immediately! I sorta kinda sliced my foot off at the ankle with my new kitana. Bring your cooler, ice and some hospital road beers.
Randomize
