I just did your MASH and your life is pretty unfortunate. Youre marrying the tech guy for love. you live in a shack and you're a hooker and you make $1 a day. you drive a brown limo and you have 7 kids
Just saw remains of her puke from last night on my pants.... thats got "Apology BJ" written all over it.
i need you to recap everything for me beyond "i think i'm gonna try vodka-pong"
I want to spend time with you, and by time, I mean real time. Not your dick in my mouth time.
you kept thanking chef boyardee for having pull tab cans
Lesson learned. Kayak oars are not golf clubs....check
Next time you think about divorce, consider this: a hot guy just walked in and I tried to suck in my back fat.
Got hit on by the cable guy. Solid 9. Think Orlando Bloom with a glorious curly mullet.
It's no shave November. This is our time.
DELETE THAT VIDEO OF ME MAKING OUT WITH THAT RUG NOW
So I have been told that I licked your eyebrows last night
I'm just gonna put on a documentary and throw up
Good News: There was a condom on the floor. Bad News: It was still in the wrapper
Dude, A DAMN CHEESEBURGER HIT ME IN THE FACE!!! WTF was i suppoused to do!?.
I’m a little confused...we were told by Cheeto Jesus and his minions multiple times that we would stop hearing about coronavirus the day after the election and, yet, I am still hearing about coronavirus. Is it possible they lied to us again?!?
Randomize
