he was in the bathroom singing "will it floooaaat?? will it floooaaat?!" turns out that's a deal breaker for me.
I had sex with him, and then he gave me a $5 Starbucks gift card. Totally worth it
i swear i just saw perry the platypus. the fuck dude. i shouldnt even know who that is
okay im going to go eat, shower and find underwear... call if you want.... but ill be listenig to glee VERY loudly.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he doesnt exactly give off the "im mature enough to use my penis" vibe
I'm about to tackle a 10 year old off a sea doo
I'm going to write a letter. It's going to say, Dear Every Girl Ever: Take some goddam initiative and wake me up with a blowjob and I will eat out of your hand. Love, Every Guy Ever
putting weed in the twinkies box was possibly the best idea you've ever had
Remember when I peed in the trash can in the ATM room last night?
Never thought I'd say this, but thank god for my blackouts.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Number of twigs I found in my hair: 5
I think my hookup is starting to fall for me. Time to break his heart.
Yep, that just happened. My mom just gave me a big bag of drugs for my birthday. She even put them in a fancy bag with tissue paper.
I tried to celebrate Halloween, Thanksgiving, Hannukah, and New Years all in one night.
I want to fuck the side burns off of Steve.
She tried doing a backflip and ended up doing somersaults down the entire stair case.
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