My dad just drunkly made a toast in front of my entire extended family "to my daughter the recent and sucessful college and to my son the drunken whore-monger"
By the way, shout wipes are a gift from god for people that throw up on themselves.
Well. Nothing came of that. And to think I manscaped and dusted with gold bond.
people should stop making movies, we'll never top bio-dome.
I head back to the dorms in less than a week I'm not ready to see my roomate naked that much again.
im drinking tequila tonight so will you babysit my bra?
A guy in the dance floor is raising the roof with an axe in hand. I love Halloween.
I'm still me, I just happen to have things in my porn library that you may not have expected
Only you would come out as bi like that
IM AT A ROOFTOP FUNDRAISER LOOKING OVER THE WHITE HOUSE I WILL NOT RUIN MYSELF
tuscaloosa is terrifying
like people here are just empty shells of drugs and sin
there is no mercy here
Bringing my mom Taco Bell and weed. I'm such a good daughter
if you want to know how my night is going I just ugly cried in the cheesecake factory
He fucked me while wearing his night time breathing machine mask. Does this mean I joined the dark side and he is Darth Vader?
And to be clear I have only watched porn like 3 times at work
We somehow ended up in Oklahoma. Nick's been crapping for two hours and I'm afraid to call a doctor because who the hell knows what sort of stuff goes down in the middle of nowhere. So not a great long weekend really.
Randomize
