I hate fucking guys that don't drink coffee. My morning hangover and shame will not be cured by your stupid tea.
She just kept saying "bless your heart" to him while he cried because he came so fast. I think a Texas woman was just what he needed
I'll have my hookups make my March Madness picks. Win my bracket, win my heart. That's how it works right?
That's exactly how my pussy feels when I shave it. Like a cross between a naked mole rat and a newborn child. Embrace it.
I bet George Washington got SERIOUS head back in his hay day.
This juggling 3 dicks is getting exhausting
Nothing like hearing "I found your pinky nail" before you even noticed it was missing.
It really does creep me out though that the next ten years will involve my friends creating smaller versions of themselves because to be honest I don't know how much I like some of them. So that thought it really scary
So he says to my dad "I'll pull out of your daughter but I'm not going to apologize". Yea, my night was fun.
I had to ask. I mean when you get a snap chat of a nipple you have to ask who's it is.
If you hear a loud thud and smell ozone, I may have been electrocuted.
The best part about daylight savings time this weekend is we get an extra hour to be fucked up.
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
If ur gunna go fuck a guy that's in the baseball hall of fame do you need to shave your legs? I'm so lazy
They want a bedroom just for their cats. And you thought we were gay.
Randomize
