and he said i stripped him down, hand cuffed him to his bed post, and tickled his arm pits, and then continued to watch The Hangover.
how opposed are you to picking me up at the bar at 11:00am?
Using 'equal to a modern day cock block" in term paper, inappropriate
cliffnotes. writing studyguide on last pack of smokes. glad this semester is over.
i think i made a good impression on his friends wen i survived 55 cup beer pong
I'm in Starbucks carrying the boxes wine and the hubcap. So many judging looks.
Running across campus through Hurricane Sandy while hammered and in a slutty cowgirl costume obviously should be top priority tonight
This hickey is now green and covers half my neck. I have an alien hickey. I think he thought my neck was dinner.
I think I may have just taught my whole hall how to give a good blow job. So this is college.
She made me walk a straight line to prove i was sober enough to help carry you to the car
Knowing you it was perfect out of spite. Like. A line straighter than YOU
This is exactly why you shouldn't bang your bartender. Although the awkward free shots are a plus.
I tried to flirt with him by saying "catholics are cool" and he handed me a cup of water so i called him jesus and thanked him for the wine
Terrible idea I love it
Dude, I wish I could live my entire life blacked out.
But once you are just right and I work my tongue in the right spots and hot wax your balls and inner thighs. I will have you right where I want you.
Who is this?
Oops wrong number
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