I literally ate my thanksgiving dinner while getting a lapdance. And honestly, after that, there is no other way.
this is hardly the first time i've been told i'm dressed "too suggestively" for 7 in the morning.
She passed out on top of the bar. Still did body shots off her.
Well after last night it's official...I cannot die...it time to use this power for good instead of handle contests
we're tailgating intramural basketball with hard drugs and tequila...and i think the players are taking shrooms
We're trying to see who can drink the most and still be eligible to donate blood tomorrow.
They poured beer (3 cans) down the toilet so bubbles can be drunk in fishy heaven
One day, tell me please to stop buying shots when I'm overwhelmed. I might have just broken a tooth
As we were about to go at it, his roommates barged in singing jumper by third eye blind. Weirdest almost one night stand ever.
Omg yes! I just found a random muffin! Don't question it. Just praise the miracle.
I'm sitting here with a band aid on my labia, this is a first
My dog and I just went outside to pee together.
Our entire day shift is on either molly or acid. I'm about to take two hits of the latter.
whered you go
woke up in a ditch, shat infront of a little league game, slept in her stairway...i need to come here more often
Last night I realized my life is an experiment of really bad decisions when I had to leave without my underwear. But at least I'm expanding my life experience.
Randomize
