You threw up. And every time you flushed you would wave and go "Bye Bye!" and then when the new water came you would greet it with "Helloooo!"
y-o-u-r-e = you are, y-o-u-r = your. you are a bag of douche not your bag of douche. if you're going to insult me at least do it in proper english. that is all.
Her boobs looked like leather oven mitts. No more cougar hunting for awhile.
He had the Transformers symbol tattooed to his chest. We had to do it doggy style so I could laugh into my pillow instead of his face.
My mother's day gift to my mother is to promise never to tell her 95% of the stories I've accumulated in my life.
He passed out while I was riding him, and just when I was about to call it quits he opens his eyes and squeezes my boobs and goes Honk! Honk!
He was sitting on the bathroom floor, swirling his finger in the toilet singing the Laguna Beach theme song. I don't know whether to laugh or help him.
Was she always missing a tooth or am I just now noticing it?
I got so drunk at the hockey game I bought everyone behind me in concession line a funnel cake.
Definition of cool: he wants a back tattoo of three horses running through a "paisley explosion"
How did he even become this person? Like what drugs has he done??
I got "plug" during family Catch Phrase and struggled to not make a reference to butt plug so I skipped it
Best ethics paper a stoner could write. I called my professor Dr. Superfly Arandia. And I'm pretty sure I used "respect the hustle" somewhere in there too.
You mowed a straight line through three yards because you were, and I fucking quote, "In the zone." I think they know.
I don't want to date him...I just want him to cheat on his girlfriend with me.
Idk if I want to put a bra on
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