mark tries to be a total badass to make up for the fact that he's a poor man's pete wentz
who the fuck tagged pancake nipples on my profile picture?
no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
we have officially mastered the walk of shame
I knew something was wrong when santa got arrested
i just heard her through the wall saying "not on my face! NOT on my face!" then a scream and "I SAID NOT ON MY FACE!!!"...nice work dude.
Do you ever just look at me and get embarrassed?
if you fuck our toilet off the wall again, i'm going to be so mad.
Send me a pic of your kids to remind me why I have morals.
"he sent me a picture of a puppy in return for a picture of my boobs. He then captioned it with "look it's puppies first time at the beach". "
I need to buy fuckboy repellant for whenever I think it's a good idea to meet boys I found in tinder
Let's just say his oral game was lacking. Hell, lacking is too nice of a word to describe it.
I had sex with two guys in one day. One on my grandma's couch, one on a golf course. This is the greatest post-surgery accomplishment I could ask for.
These snow days are takeing a toll on my liver
All right well I’m making her sugar cookies and sleeping with her husband tonight. Just another manic Monday
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