Heybabeimwearingurpanties
Did your girl go home? Did she have fun? Can we have our friend back?
At some point last night I thought pissing in a bottle was an awesome idea when I woke up a little piss was actually in the bottle a lot was on my TV remote
I just remembered I gave $20 to a bum last nite. Philanthropy events always make me do stupid shit.
I think it's time we have the "weird fetish" talk.
well what is some mechanical horse racing with out blow involved
it would be cheaper just to buy a dildo to intimidate people with.
Just finished my quantum homework in ladies room writing with eyeliner. I am the party/physics champion.
Apparently being drunk on a southwest flight and yelling "TURNUP" during take off is looked down upon in this state.
She gave me a can of steel reserve to pour on myself in the shower
I'm suffering a hangover from deep within. I feel like the half of the parts of my body are permanently laced with alcoholic substances
is it acceptable to cross the border for sex?
skyped with him for 45 min in the bath while i shaved my legs. new level in the relashionship
i cant believe the cop was fine with you saying no we are in a hurry when he asked to search your car
theres a girl in the library eating whip cream out of a starbucks cup... only whip cream, im way to high for this shit
Randomize
