Yeah, I tried playing the "see how long he can stay inside of me" game.. And I lost.
I don't know if you realize how depressing it is to get your card denied....when you're only spending $4.
You would think that someone would have been sober enough to object to vodka bong races.
Yea he doesn't really know about any of this yet but my game plan is to keep wowing him with my vagina and cooking skills. It's up too future me to handle the rest.
So, since you're now a four night stand, I feel comfortable asking: Did I leave my sunglasses at your house? Or my underwear?
i just want to be sober by dinner like is that too much to ask
They better not charge my debit card for what you peed on.
I woke up wearing my panties and an eyelash, soo I'd say your birthday was a success.
When she introduced her friend to me I shook his hand and told him not to leave his ugly vest at my apartment in the morning. He took it off and bought me a shot.
You only have to pretend to care about soccer until July. HE'S PRETTY DONT RUIN THIS.
Look, his dick is so good at being a dick that it makes me see God. And I don't even believe in God.
Well when we Get drunk it gets rowdy. We could always attempt self-control. But historically and statistically speaking, we fail at that.
I'm like the kinda excited when David After Dentist stands up in his seat, screams, and collapses
I was running because his wife invited me to join them on their kinky Vegas weekend. Crossing state lines is too much commitment for me.
Yes I’m serious. I just worked YOUR 12 hour shift on 3 hours of sleep if you come over without tacos and an ice cream cake in hand we are done
Randomize
