This is not my ceiling
if creeping was an olympic sport, i would be a lock for the gold right now.
Thats the last time I go out drinking with my Irish friends. Two shots of flaming sambucca = bar on fire. I was only trying to high five the barman.
We've only been driving for two hours and I'm already down 3 vicodin...I'm not going to survive this family vacation.
someone lit off fireworks while I puked in the street. I was like congratulating me for making it through homecoming.
just had to sit in the middle of an aisle in stop and shop because we're too hungover and needed to take a break.
Ps, did you know if you google "drunk jenga", you're the first image that shows up?
I forgot how easy it is to have sex in public when you're wearing a dress. Thank you global warming.
The airport has the best people watching and munches... It should be a destination drinking location
I legit had a 15 minute convo about dinosaurs with a guy at the bar last night cuz he was wearing a jurassic park shirt
We got out of the car in valet drinking beers we gave the valet one as a tip
So are we just not going to talk about the time I came home to you jerking it in the kitchen?
You made me take a photo of you under the stairs at the bar. "Look I'm Harry Potter."
Blacked in cold and wet, with them areound me singing Aaaaall we are saaaaayiiiing is YOU PEED YOUR PANTS
I was pretty pissed in the morning when I realized he had fucked the fake tattoo right off my chest.
Randomize
