how many times in life can you be kicked out of a pizza buffet for vomiting on the food and insulting small children
i am devastated. she was DTF and I was about to puke, i told her to wait outside my room for a second. Puked. Passed out woke up, she was gone. Found puke stains on my keyboard that seem to spell out youporn....
If I come over right now will you promise to distract your grandpa in the morning so I don't have to do the walk if shame with 1940's style judgement?
These hangoverless Sunday mornings are becoming too regular.
plus shes a stripper, ive been with strippers, if you fuck this up your penis will never forgive you
I will probably be peed on at some point today.
Although I love the reason it was done, can you maybe not show pictures of my dick to all your friends at parties? I like to present my penis in my own special way. thanks
No, but I woke up here and my pockets are full of raisins. Like 6 different pockets.
onest when I told you I'm a paramedic but I'm also a stripper.
honestly i just want a cigarette and someone to go down on me... are you interested in helping with either of those
Ice cream and condoms, solid grocery store trip
man fuck you i am a delight. you're the one who fucking set his tree on fire while high
I think I just got buffalo sauce on my penis. Is that a turn on or off?
I got St Patrick's Day drunk on Friday and apparently ordered a Total Gym in the middle of the night
we're so committed to being not committed
Randomize
