Why does lindsey know I was naked in the kitchen?
is it true you fucked a yoga instructor last night??! ..and let me know if you want me to post that question on your facebook so kelly can see how happy you are without her
some guy just got out of his chair quietly. Laid down on the floor and is now asleep in between rows in my lecture hall. He must have had a rough night.
Before you ask, yes. Whatever you're wearing IS too slutty for his mom's funeral.
He threw me a bud light and when I opened it he smacked it out of my hand because "Dave giveth, and Dave taketh away". WTF
My dads not up on pop culture but he's not dumb enough to believe your 2 girls 1 cup reference at dinner was from the bible.
I look like i have multiple stab wounds in my foot and there are footprints from the elevator to my room. What happened?
He was an asshole the entire night and then tried to touch my dick in a Michaels craft store.
Sooooo, no second date?
While we were having sex he asked me if I wanted to get wingstop after. I think I found my future husband.
so how was it...?
sadly not as impressive as one might expect from a division one athlete. he lacked the stamina i had hoped for, and by lacked i do mean he fell asleep while he was still inside me. an epic wtf moment, i know.
Hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking you had a pulse
Good, I've got all this booze. It's intimidating to be in the room alone with it..
If he thinks I'm canceling my orgy to coddle his stupid fucking behavior, he has another thing coming
It's like his penis moved in and did some interior decorating without telling me first...
You know he wants it bad when he starts going door to door for condoms.
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