O no, u 2 are dating again?
No. I just masturbate furiously to his picture
Im so hungover that my 6 year old cousine made me aspirine and coffee out of playdoh...
I had to call maintenance to come unclog the toilet.
Something to remember me by.
i just opened a seperate checking account to keep track of how much i make and spend on our keggers
Only mom could turn an abortion day into a shopping day
So how does it feel getting boo'd by the entire 5 guys restaurant
We're pregaming our midterms. Also, when we get our tests back, we're taking a shot for every point we lost. If you're not in, you should just go ahead and transfer.
Drinking gin at a party, riding a giant inflatable walrus all around the living room.
I thought it was a drawer and tried to pull it out and it wasnt a drawer it was the police call button. I hate everything.
I swear to god, if you fuck the hot one you're paying me back for the shot I just bought her
Do you think blood ever gets sick of carrying all these drugs around?
Like, there are so many different things we make it do, and it just wants to settle down and be a one-drug fluid?
Stop reading WebMD high.
And I just got smacked in the face by my cat. Apparently I'm supposed to be awake now.
Nothing says responsible like taking your birth control with an open bottle of wine you left on your night stand from the night before
She's dancing around licking a fork of nutella. She is not sober.
His dog hid my thong. Let me tell you, the last thing you want during a commando mini skirt walk of shame is lots of wind. There’s a church congregation that knows all my business
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