I'm fascinated by her cleavage. She has deep cleavage, but no obvious boobage to speak of. Check it out.
i woke up at 5 am and found myself wrapped in christmas lights that were plugged into the wall.
It just hit me that i made out with someone's mom last night
I interrupted her conversation with, "are we gonna fuck yet?" and she immediately got naked. thanks for the blind date
So yeah you need to stop having near death experiences at McDonalds.
Missing part of a tooth cos I tried to open a beer with my teeth, just saw a dude that looked like bill Cosby though so things are looking up
Every time he asks me if I'm horny I'm just like come on...stupid question
I am a woman. I need to be selective about the porn I stream on my phone. Who knows if my cell will ever get lost, who will see it and what they'd think otherwise. Keepin' it classy tampa.
So immediately after we finished having sex she started singing, "The Circle of Life", put her clothes on and then just left. I think I'm in love.
Nothing says Panama City like condoms washing up on the shore.
He came in two seconds and stole my pizza so I'm not counting it.
One of your 'guests' left her bra in the kitchen.
Dude, does it look like any of the women I bring home wear bras?
I just lived through a real life episode of jersey shore.
And by "have lunch together" you mean me giving you a blow job in the back of your Tahoe, right?
I now have scissors specifically made for cutting dicks off.
Randomize
