Halloween 2010: the NuvaRing girls. You're Thursday. We'll walk into the party chanting "Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday, Everydaaay".
Julian told me all the fish in his pond died and he didn't know when or how. I didn't have the heart to tell him he drunkenly peed in the pond on Saturday as everyone cheered him on.
Did your dad mention the fact that you asked him for viagra at 2 in the morning?
You act like this is the first time I literally thought I was invisible.
Can we hire someone to dj while we have sex?
Look dude I'm sorry I used your bong to snorkel in my bathtub last night
Dave a horae rider a coqw boy
You texted me 'I am the leopard prince', with a series of pictures of you posing in what seemed like cat poses. you were not "a little bit" drunk dude..
He added his name to my To Do list. That's the way to my Type A heart.
you're right. a strip only looks good in porn . mine just looks like a fucked up mullet
I went to an 8am hookup in another guys sweatpants. Who is the really player here?
I don't remember his name. I had whataburger on my mind and in my hands so I wasnt really listening
It's like I'm tryna ride my horse through dennis quaid’s vineyard
That's a sexy sentence
Once you find out someone has a small dick, you never look at them the same again.
when I finally sobered up enough to get out of bed this morning I went to talk to mom and forgot that I had TITS written in big letters on both my hands. I love drinking games.
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