i dont nkow, theres a guy slesping next to me and im wearing 8 tsthirts? wtf happened last night? will you come get me.
i think im in thre room next to you
are you serious?? is your clit as sensitive as your emotions
i wish
My vagina smells like strawberry tangerine twist.
she said her black crocs were her 'dress up crocs'
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no seriously he was fingering me like he was really really frantically looking for a song on his iPod.
Sundays have taken on a whole new meaning when I'm not in bed with an excruciating hangover.
I swear to god he's a one man village people.
I'm deleting all the photos of dicks off my phone. This relationship could be serious
Dude if our hands were ladels we could work at a soup kitchen
That would be so convenient
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You kept saying,"there's a seahorse in my stomach, who's trying escape". This was after the curtains attacked you.
Glass of stolen champagne in a to go cup = tastiest hangover cure ever
I'm deleting Tinder. I got there he rubbed my back and then proceeded to jerk off on me.
That's right. I just LL Cool J'ed you up in this bitch. Zero fucks.
He unofficially told me he deleted his tinder because of me. I think that’s a pretty romantic gesture in 2018
Dude she is fucking shit up. Her baby would be proud
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