Eric said he heard us having sex the other night. He said i did a great job.
You know, I never expected to find myself with a roommate who I'd have to ask not to have sex while I'm in the room. And yet, here we are.
I found a ladder. I don't know where I am. Gonna climb it. I feel like aladin
I'm the saddest girl in a tutu right now.
I'm so hungover all I can do is stare at my curser and hope it starts moving on its own
If it makes you feel any better about life I'm wearing yoga pants with granny panties and toms with socks cause fuck my life
They are the perfect team. One always has weed, the other always has cigarettes. They're like the Batman and Robin of drugs
You have mono. It's like being pregnant, your are excused from normal social niceties like responding to people.
We got high and watched Winnie the Pooh. Isn't that what every normal person does on their break?
I literally JUST MADE IT to the liquor store. I bought a box of wine with the lights off
It may be a clusterfuck, but I'll be looking classy as shit as I watch the nightmare unfold
Just beer bonged through a snorkel, add that to the list
I'm fucking my way through California and it's kind of fun.
What do you mean relationship? He paid for my tires and I gave him a blow job.
I can’t believe the first text I’m sending you from this phone was about how I just got fingered in a smart car on tin can hill
Randomize
