dude i totally did the walk last night came out of her room to see her dad sitting there straight lookin at me...wtf
I was just tapping my foot in the bathroom at Penn Station just PRAYING for anonymous sex. You know how that goes.
And this is weird.. I feel slightly less depressed after shitting myself.
best googles of the semester: toe fucking, purpose of two nostrils, human tail. with pictures
U sang "shots, shots, shots" then walked 2 ur top drawer and threw socks everywhere singin "SOCKS, SOCKS, SOCKS!"
you were stumbling around in your attic looking for all your swim team medals because you wanted to "feel like a champion."
I would have rather watched a full length video of myself masturbating than heard that.
He's just a really nice guy who stuck his tongue in the wrong place.
Had sex with one of the guys from Ireland. Celebrating st pattys early.
My neck is PURPLE. This is NOT a good day to be indoctrinated by the cardinal...
She's like the sister I never had that I want to bang.
Auto correct isn't even working for how drunk you are
My vibrator turned on under my pillow when I was taking a nap this morning... I nearly shit my pants.
he was just sitting there in his underwear... and his chewbacca mask...
i just realized i have only had sex on couches so far this year. i can't decide if that's impressive or trashy
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