2:23 am: come sit on my lap i have a stick that'll keep you in place
I may have broken a few toes and my face hurts. I do know that I pissed the bed so at least I've got some closure there
I've never seen a grown man cry so much after getting jerked off by a stripper. I say it's the best $600 he ever spent.
saying that you may be able to suck the gay out of me was just my way of getting a blowjob...thank you for the valiant effort.
I'm with Tony. He said he volunteers his ball sack for waxing but you will have to wait a few weeks. It is a freshly shaved sack. I guess he thought he was gonna get lucky. Wtf?
Smooth sack
I just can't even fathom the crazy and I work at a mental hospital.
I bet yours is gonna be filled with secret innuendo.
secret innuendo and cervical punches to the world.
ANNA HAS DISCOVERED EROTIC FANFICTION OF SHARKNADO THIS IS NOT A DRILL
Well I met my booty call's parents by accident, so that happened.
Hungover playing piano at a baptism I am the PICTURE of class I feel like I should be struck by lightning
It feels appropriate that the wallet of my high school and college years would die at the hands of a spilled bong. Which in and of itself is a solid metaphor for those years.
Literally just sitting around waiting for someone to come along and fuck my chakras back into alignment
All i remember from last night was that i was sitting on the toilet for a good hour eating a philly cheesesteak hotpocket... then i woke up... in my bed.
Think of the things uve done in the past. And ask urself "have I done worse?" If u answer yes. Its perfectly ok.
Just saw Little Red Riding Hood riding a guy on hood of a car
Good for her for committing to the costume
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