shouldn't i get a discount if shes pregnant?
Im in Brooklyn, he wasnt 23 or a musician pick me up
how many princess gummy vitamins will it take to negate last nights drinking binge?
you'd think with how big her nose is she'd have a better smelling pussy..
he just called me skinny, hes either trying to get laid, or i'm going to have to marry this man
Please tell me that text was part of your elaborate Brett Favre costume; otherwise, dude, wtf?
Just know that as we speak i am injecting vodka into gushers
Russians do not operate on the same level as the rest of us. hoping I wake up tomorrow
I wasn't trying to be rude when I hurriedly walked past you, but I can not put in to words exactly how bad I had to shit.
I really like her...she always overpays me for xanax and still feels the need to fuck me to make up for it....
I asked if I could borrow some condoms. She referred to herself as "a soup kitchen for whores".
do you think the dildo I'm bringing through airport security is considered a weapon?
I had sex with him in the back of my car in a duck onesie. I'm worth something dammit.
Ever since I got to LA my dream self has been having sex with way too many rabbi's.
How good was the sex? She sent me a fruit basket the next day.
Randomize
