Also, I'm sitting at a crosswalk watching two Mexican gangs fight each other. I miss you too. A lot.
great sex! but now the fight over who sleeps on the wet spot starts.
I've realized that you're the only friend i can rely on to drink with me any given day. i thank you for that.
I am too hungover to address any of this right now, every time i move it feels like i'm being bitch slapped by the hand of God
He wants a "vagina fling" before he commits to dick for life. I'm gonna allow it.
You fucked her?! HER?!
She sent me a nudie pic with a bunch of weed nuggets all over her tits...what was I supposed to do? I don't hate America sir.
I feel like this has turned into my work. But if I get paid sitting under a desk, that's perfectly fine with me.
Dude walks in wearing jean shorts and a graphic tshirt and goes home with an attractive female. EXPLAIN YOURSELF UNIVERSE.
I was peeing in the bathroom at this house party when a guy just casually stumbles out of the shower
Naw. I'm tired and I'd have to shave my legs. I doubt the sex or the company would be worth it.
The only thing left on my Bucket List is getting fingered at an aquarium.
Well. I mean as excuses for running late go, 'losing track of time in the bathhouse' has gotta be up there on the top ten.
I just got promised sex at a fire station tonight so basically all my porn star dreams are coming true.
So were driving two hours to go to a club and Charles packed me a sippy cup full of tequila. He thinks of everything!
fell asleep while jerking off ln. woke up to my hand in my pants and my cat crawling all over me
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