If Jon and Kate can get divorced...how hard can it be for me?
my periods are so regular now that they are sync-ed with my subscriptions of vogue.
Dude, Erin Andrews has a nude video circulating the internet.
Is it any good?
Let me put it this way: I bet Stuart Scott's lazy eye went straight after watching that.
In retrospect, getting to second base BEFORE anal wouldve been a good idea
just spent the last 4 hours covering his room in sticky notes. Viva Drunk Thursdays.
Got him to take a shot from the drip pan on the George Forman. He's gone now.
CORAL IS FAR MORE RED THAN HER LIPS RED
Oh god you're Sonnet 130 drunk, aren't you.
The object of the game was to pour tequila into a sombrero and drink as much as you can before it leaked through, 'Big Papi' won.
Our music was glorious. Maidens were deflowered to the sound of my voice.
Omg this place. I'm at a neighborhood party. My mom has kissed two other moms. Where am I
Had to leave my skype meeting to vomit. I'm obviously ready for the real world.
This may be the alcohol talking, but I'm pretty sure I know Spanish now
Christ I forgot how flexible you need to be for a decent sext pic. Jesus.
I was playing 'If You Had To Fuck One or Die' with the old composite pictures with a guy in the bathroom line. They were all pretty ugly so I go "You can tell this is a lower tier frat"......turns out the guy was a brother
Someone should walk up to them and say, "We're sorry, you're too hot to be out here with the other humans."
Randomize
