Nipple clamps can be ambiguous
Do you still like to have your hair pulled?
No, I never liked having my hair pulled. I think you have me confused.
bet u 5 dollars u can't guess were i woke up this morning
oh god.. jail?
better, on the catwalk of the auditorium
We had sex on a ferris wheel in canada, our relationship will never be the same
I'm hoping you can explain why I woke up with what I believe is pumpkin pie all over my body
Also, the zoloft kicked in and I can't get an erection anymore. So I'm depressed.
frozen drink friday is suspended until further notice
Is this a genuine concern or are you just high?
JUST BECAUSE I'M HIGH DOESN'T MEAN ITS NOT GENUINE CONCERN.
That penis will go down in history. It's the Helen of Troy of dicks. I will conquer it and the tale will live on for future generations to learn from
He woke me up for a 10am bootycall. he was already drunk when he got here and when we were fucking, bagpipes started playing amazing grace outside of my window!! I love Boston on st. Patties day!!
I'm convinced that college is the only place where one can have an existential crisis over what sweatpants to wear
Here's how he asked the pregnant girl for a cigarette. Hey yo prego throw me a square. Not joking.
I just took what could be the most awkward shit in my life, which considering my definition of awkward and my experiences shitting, is pretty fucking awkward.
...
I was sitting there doing my business and the guy in the stall next to me banged on the stall and asked me how to spell picnic because he wasn't sure.
Just drove by where I lost my sausage gravy virginity
You know you have hit the best years of your life when you enlist the 5 year old to be ball boy during beer pong and pay him with candy you stole from Walgreens
Randomize
