Sry I called you an 8
I haven't had sex in so long I'll probably find some stranger, feel guilty, go w/o sex for several months and do it all over again...always something to look forward to
Peanut Butter and turkey sandwich...this may come back to haunt me
Had sex with him. My tampon is now in my brain. May need surgery.
When I masturbate I pretend my dick is the slap chop an I'm destroying vegtables. Do you think that's a eating disorder?
I texted her sayin "I gotta brush my teethn then Im omw" maybe hint to do the same
so whats your words to drink to for the state of the union? mine are 'change' 'fight' and 'you know'.
mine is 'the'.
Dear female. Happy valentines day. If you have not had the pleasure of making love to me, please do not fret, I will get around to it soon enough. If you indeed have made love to me, then bravo, wasn't that grand! Perhaps we should do it again? Regardless, have a good day. This has been a public service announcement. Rock on.
I'm sooo hungover. I fell asleep on top of a car in a parking lot last night. New one to add to the list.
You can fuck me but I'm keeping my parka on.
I`m watching Shallow Hal & Jack Black has better nipples than Jimmy's chick.
You sent me a naked picture of you as a child? How is that normal
She grinded so hard on my face that I've got rugburn on both eyelids
Of course his mom thinks you're nice, she doesn't know you have sex for cheeseburgers
One time!! I like sex and food....
Only you would offer whiskey to a man in liver failure.
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