OMg patrick swayze is the sexuest man he is killing me I'm gonna get dehydrated if I don't stop looking at him
and next time when you feel me up, do it right
i just taught a 3 year ld how to do a jager bomb, i cant wait to have kids
He told me that I smelled like a Glade Plug-in, then sang the Menard's jingle in it's entirety in between kissing me.
i woke up with my wallet keys and phone missing and a treasure map to find them stapled to my shirt.
haha i know
i am one more weekend without sex away from dosing him with viagra and locking ourselves into a closet.
By the power invested in me, I now pronounce your taco to be meaty. Meaty taco meaty taco meaty meaty meaty taco.
When he grabbed my tits it felt like he was either giving me a mammogram or trying to pierce my nipples with his fingers.
And as cleavage season comes to a close, so blooms a new season of yoga pants. And the people rejoiced.
we could do so many fantastic illegal things together. sexually and otherwise.
how does spending your day off taking me to the hospital sound?
I'm sorry for what I said when I was orgasming
i just woke up, first off why is there pineapple everywhere and who's underwear is on my ceiling fan ?
it's like the easy bake oven version of plastic surgery
Dear Andy-the problem is not that I slept with your girlfriend, it's that you didn't know she's a lesbian.
Randomize
