You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
I'll let you put expensive food in me, but really, not much else.
It's gotten to the point where even copying off yahoo answers is still way too much work.
I woke up laying in alphagetti with the message "I'd go get checked asap" written out in the letters.
we just did breakfast shots, I have a black eye and savage garden is on . Best weekend ever
I just woke up and shes still asleep next to me with her vibrator inside her and on. Whats normal protocol for this situation?
Is today national text-a-girl-whose-had-your-dick-in-her-mouth day and I just wasn't aware?? I am getting the most random "just saying hey" texts ever and that's the only common denominator.
Life is so much better when you know you're gonna get laid soon.
There is a clear recurring theme of me having sex in restrooms that really needs to stops
then you said,"Take this damn cabbage!" although it was actually your shirt. i found you in the elevator of his building.
Just had a 40 min argument about how many celebrity guest appearances on Sesame Street were court ordered for DUIs.
I feel like I got hit by a truck. Or a baby dinosaur. One of them ran over my body and then stuck me in a blender of fire and storm clouds
May or may not have been going down the road shooting fireworks.
Just had empanadas for breakfast while watching Wall-e with my yesterday's one night stand mother AND grandmother.
It started with a wedding, followed by a drag show, and ended with Trevor getting punched in the face by the bouncer. How was your weekend?
Randomize
