Jesus was obviously not given an itemized list of your sins before he died for them
i just dont know how to see an unattractive person as more than a friend
I should have known there'd be issues when he included "beautiful soul" in our playlist
If you were wondering whether I accidentally FaceTime called the undergrad who works for me in lab during a particularly graphic blow job last night, then the answer is yes.
I'm naked and wearing a cowbell.i love med school.
Just did a keg stand the dropped my phone in the toilet. Sorry for partying.
You did a keg stand on the toilet?!
I think I hit my head on every surface in that apartment last night
Old men love us. For they have fine taste and disturbing minds.
STDs are my biggest fear, besides whales. They're so fucking big.
I just stood still on a stair at the train station expecting it to go down automatically like an escalator... Today's going to be a good day
this old dude from the bar is giving me a ride home in a van, his bumper sticker says " don't laugh your kids could be in here" scary world ou here
And if you haven't kicked a pigeon you haven't started your morning right
I think someone is dead in a car across the street
Scratch that, dude's getting a blow job
Oh god, I forgot we had sex to Elton John
So, I almost went hone with a French guy and a drag queen. Together. Then I became sober enough to realize, that's not my style.
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