So, how was the dinner
Just like the ex wife, cold, fatty, and expensive.
i chose cheese fries over sex for the third time this week.
My mom found a condom in my purse
Correction: my mom found a used condom in my purse.
jack dropped his pants and said "bet u've never seen a dick this big." which was really sad cuz i had never actually seen one that small...you have like pinch it between ur thumb and pointer finger to give a HJ
Nick just found a baggie of 3 year old shrooms in his desk drawer and downed it all with cheap white wine. I am not on vomit duty tonight.
The only birthday messages I got from men were from my 8th grade boyfriend and the bouncer at our bar. I think I'm doing something wrong in life.
We welcome drunken adversity.
With open legs.
Hey we need to step our game up. Dad has us beat; he stole a vending machine once.
I've got 2 dollars. How do I turn this into alcohol?
Just because you can put your penis in it does not make it "good stuff".
In his defense he just bought a bong like a week ago so he's still in that honeymoon phase.
The funny thing is, we kinda did bring guys home cause you had a fort...
So Bodhi just sent me a pic of someone's balls with a message that says "I hope you all have a ballin' night." I don't even know what level of friendship to call this anymore.
Oh my god.
The ballsiest level.
I feel like we have a good system here turning our sketchy decisions into great stories.
What is it in my brain that makes me look at a penis and think "that belongs in my mouth"?
Randomize
