Getting food. Want anything?
Vagina. Double meat no buns. I have the secret sauce
That's what you get when you play shuffleboard drunk.
How can something that makes you feel so good one day make you feel so bad the next?
Alcohol?
Sex with a fat chick.
Im watching he's just not that into you, eating way too much pizza, and feeling very single.
lesson #67 learned in college: a three day old margarita, is still a margarita.
This is much more drunk than i was intending for a wednesday
So, during a 20 minute shower I spent 19 minutes spinning in circles and 1 minute licking the wall, and it was better than sex. I can't wait to do X again.
Sorry if I'm being weird. I'm dipping doritos in cabernet.
he just started chanting dark meat! dark meat! out of no where.
Jim came in did 3 body shots of her she said "I like your tongue" and they left. I swear to god its deja vu he's done it before
you pulled down your pants to convince a girl you were god
I just want to curl up with him and brush his hair and sing love songs together, I think you should come over and end this
You told the cashier at McDonald's not to smell the ones cause you had just got back from the strip club. Good deed.
We fucked through the entire Destiny's Child album, it was a beautiful thing.
Overall a good night - broke my toe giving that cop a blowjob though...so there's that...
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