WE WERE REALLY IN A PORNO LAST NIGHT
I'm not ready for the Pike bikes to move back in to town it was wonderful seeing that sorority house empty all summer
... I'm KD
These guys are walking up and down the hallway yelling, "Yo, is this the floor with the unisex bathroom?"
I love him. He's like the father I never had that I kind of want to fuck.
Pretty sure I saw a dude across the room give this girl the international hand gesture for "I'm going to fist you later", she seemed ok with it.
Santa was walking around downtown handing out stuff at the bars. He gave me a free eyebrow wax. I think he's trying to tell me something
just had Stella and stale goldfish for breakfast under the watchful eyes of an inflatable cactus and 5 llama pinatas. Cinco de mayo success!
you just cant say you love him and then say you want to fuck your boss
Nice. I like it when Maker's Mark makes decisions for you.
So woke up naked and found my clothes from last night in my kitchen with a half eaten quesadilla
Did my dad just see you doing a walk of shame?
Yup I waved.
Hey I just woke up in the back of a pickup truck parked at taco bell... Can u come get me?
Yes I’m serious. I just worked YOUR 12 hour shift on 3 hours of sleep if you come over without tacos and an ice cream cake in hand we are done
I am drunk shake weighting right now.
Just blew on a shot of whiskey to cool it off, like it was soup...
Randomize
