is it wrong to smoke out middle schoolers?
yes...dear jesus what did you do?
bwahaha. ask your little brother in about 20 minutes. im dropping him off.
is it bad that the first thing i do when i get downstairs is go on farm town?
On the way home from Florida I threw up at the beginning border and ending border of 6 states. You win this year Spring Break.
He screamed "Hug me!" and dove into the bushes. How he gets laid every weekend is beyond me.
Woke to a half burnt 20 in my pocket, covered in mud, clothes all wet, so im assuming I didn't use that 20 you gave me for a taxi
Dude, sorry for live texting you my binge drinking. If you'd like me to do the same for my hangover, I can share that I just had to sit down while q-tipping my ears.
Just realized Ive had sex in or around each thing listed in Green Eggs and Ham besides the fox.
Can't a woman sleep on the floor in her own apartment in peace without being judged?
Nothings harder than putting on a frozen condom.. or should I say softer
I broke a glass at the bar and ended up with blood on my forehead. I apparently kept screaming BLOOD like the little boy in that YouTube video.
Is "head down ass up" an appropriate way to say good morning?
Well you should have thought of that before you were reckless with your butt
I asked to see his balls for medical purposes.
Damn you. I'm in a bar with Southern Jesus Fearing Blah Blah Rednecks WHO ARE PROBABLY VOTING FOR TRUMP and you go radio silent.
There's a guy masturbating in front of Sephora right now
Randomize
