I can see my step sister's thong. Don't know if I should let myself be turned on or not
i googled "where to have sex in disneyland." i found nothing.
Ask him about the girl he took home Saturday night. I swear she voted for Kennedy.
I need a pic of your cock for our cock collage
Houston, we have a blender
Dude, you were dipping oreos in vodka and asking people to try it, "It's so good!"
Ever had someone sing happy birthday to you during sex?
Were you drinking last night?
Because typically I don't associate the phrase 'Go sleepy time' with sobriety.
Also there's so much vodka on my breath that if I blew on my fingers my nail polish would fall right off
Everything is covered in gelatin and pam cooking spray. Jesus be a shield.
i guess i fuck people who own bucket hats so i can't talk shit
So high that I just walked into class, late, sat down in my desk, and tried to buckle my seatbelt.
Okay everything with a penis is officially dead in my eyes
God I need to hump something, right now.
You don't know happiness until you've got to smoke weed inside taco bell and then eat all you want for free
Randomize
