No flights in Europe due to the volcano erupting. God himself is telling me to spend 4.20 in Amsterdam.
She puked in the bank of America parking lot? Awesome.
Yeah, figured I'd deposit my check while we were there.
Just found out they make medicinal lollipops, bought like 40 of them. Gonna go fill a pediatricians lollipop bowl.
She broke both of her ankles trying to jump off the balcony. it's like every time she drinks she makes even more impressively bad decisions than the last time
She fucked me for a ride to the airport. If this is what the rest of college is like, I'm never graduating.
i feel like this needs to be a 'lose some teeth' kind of weekend.
There is a homeless man handing out free beer on the city bus. He has a cooler and everything. I love this trashy yet generous city.
Can I send you a picture of my penis? I feel like it looks really good right now and I need someone to share it with
Was there a condom involved? Because he was saying he wanted a kid. Repeatedly.
I just accidentally showed an old lady a pic of my penis while showing her cat pics. So how's your day going?
Glow Paint looked great for the Black Light Party last night, Tonight having a glow in the dark Pizza on my arm, not so much.
the conference was great. we had to hide the acid in a planter in front of the department of agriculture though
I don't have any plans for New Year's except watching anime and drinking until I can't read the subtitles anymore.
If I don't singlehandedly make your gf realize she needs to straighten the fuck up or ruin your relationship before I leave I have failed you as a friend.
I'm seeing how far I can grow my leg hair out before Jason will say anything. I'm up to an inch
Randomize
