my drunk uncle just explained that turkeys are not gentle lovers... and no context doesn't make it better.
You're barking up the wrong lesbian.
This does no justice to the amount of paint I'm covered in or the amount of balls I'm tripping.
No, not at all. Pulling a condom out of your vag at 2pm is NOTHING like finding $10 in your winter coat. Stop trying to make me feel better.
If after tonight I can still walk on my own, take me to another bar.
will you please stage a drunk girl intervention and tell him that his chain is severely harming his chances of getting laid tonight?
They wouldn't serve more then two Shots per person, so you grabbed a group of strangers and said u werre buying them all shots, then proceeded to drink all of them.
Nothing makes me happier than finding out someone else is pregnant and it's not you.
Well, somebody (me) put on reindeer antlers, crawled around on the floor, and meowed at people... So yeah, I'd say it was "one of those nights"
Did body shots with a guy... Ended up being the ref of my volleyball game... So that's why we won
I just blew thrown up hashbrowns out my nose. That's the level of this hangover.
last night we watched this really loud chick try and pick up this smoking french guy who's english was sooo bad. she finally pointed at her beer and then her vagine
gross
like you've never done an interperative dance for sex, please
andy told me i got kicked out of the bar and was so drunk i forgot and got back in line. the bouncer was zero impressed
Im drunk taking pregnancy tests with this really hot girl...i dont know what is happening
If I die bedazzle my coffin please.
Randomize
