i thought she was just hairy. i didn't know she was also a man.
i hate that site..its like every vagina you dont wanna see
I am scared. I picture you doing a keg stand on a sinking ship with hula girls cheering you on. Please text me when you get back to shore...or now would be good
She gave me head while using a laptop on my stomach to go online. I've never seen a better feat of multitasking.
I just laughed at the word pudding. I have no idea whats going on right now.
im so hung over everytime my dog barks the sound vibration makes my whole body hurt
he fucked me with his goalie mask on. it was like sleeping with Darth Vader
My head feels like Jesus is projectile vomiting hammers on it
There is a 97.5% chance that my sketchy roommate is also a hooker.
So when can I meet her?
The bottle of Wild Turkey is empty and there is a pile of wet cement in the garage. What happened?
I just almost puked & then I panicked and forced it back down because I thought I would be a waste of the apple turnover I ate.. I'm that hungover
Omg I can't even...
So yes we had an orgy last night and I sucked your tits while you fucked my husband but I am weird about sharing my toothbrush.
First week is awesome. Freshman girls prancing around everywhere like newborn baby deer looking for a dick to jump on
I also told the bartender he probably had a beautiful spleen
You were only speaking with either thumbs up, thumbs down, or high fives haha
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