her boobs were like sundried tomatoes..
new excercise plan: walk a mile get a bj then walk a mile home
You peed in the parking lot while a car was was waiting behind us. And when people walked by you proceeded to say "careful you might slip"
I want to hold her baby but I'm afraid I'll give it a contact buzz
this girl is like a spa retreat for my dick
Your penis chewing exercise is not working
Boys DO look like their dicks. Its like dogs.
I was woken up in my old house by the new residents ... I don't even have a Key anymore
I gather from Facebook you got drunk last night and took semi naked pictures of yourself?
Let me tell you how my drug dealer wants me to take his girlfriends little sister to jr prom
He won a jackpot and invited his ex girlfriend over to have sex on 5grand
That was so not worth putting pants on for.
Hey can you tell Daniel there's a bottle of Captain Morgan's in the dryer ...
Sorry I think you have the wrong number
Yes it looks like I do
All I remember is pissing by the garage and the next thing I know I'm on fire
how do you say “i know we haven’t hung out in a month, but i gave myself an amazing orgasm to your picture the other day” without coming on too strong
Randomize
