We got blackout for the alumni dinner, and then walked THROUGH the keynote speaker, managing to still say "excuse me".
It's never good when you wake up covered with burns
Well hey if hot cowboys are involved then all bets are off.
WHY are the edges of my bra charred???
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Almost told my boss I was an expert aat swallowing when he questioned my ability to take excedrin,xanax, and a vitamin all at once. It was a medicinal gang bang lubricated by arizona tea.
I have a new game. It's called "how weird can you act before a guy won't fuck you". I've deducted most guys are willing even if you're batshit insane.
he was inside of, then got up said "we don't want you having a baby," grabbed his car keys and left. so now i'm just sitting on his bed, wondering if he's coming back.
She's calming us down by shoving oreos in our mouths
Love you too. There are very few people I let pee in my dishwasher.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh and I'm kind of in the library.
Waiting for the foreign guy who keeps staring to make his creepy move.
I just meant the frequency of your blow jobs on a flow chart wouldn't look too promising
The joke is on me because whale penis is forever in my search history.
Worth it.
Do you own a cuff key and know where Karen lives?
Apparently I handcuffed myself to the dishwasher...
...okay, you can't just say 'masturbating llama' and not explain yourself
Randomize