What's everyones problem with my costume?!
It looks like a unicorn came on your face.
The duggars are the reason premarital sex is ok. Because if you don't have it until marriage you have no self control when it happens. And 19 kids.
Who the hell brings a 6pack to a party. I'm trying to make mistakes.
How do you say "I'm not pregnant in Spanish?"
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MOMMMMMMMMMMAYYY! YOU BIRFED ME TODAYY. IM CELEBRTIN ON YUR BEHAF! THANK YOU!!!!!
I always hoped you would never inherit this side of my personality. Hon, trust me, you're a mess. Go to bed...alone. xoxoxo
I'm going to call you, don't answer. Need to practice moaning to your answering machine again
I would have done it. But then again I am a starving student who can manipulate my brain into thinking my decision was somehow morally justifiable.
The only thing keeping me calm right now is pretending to chop off everyone's heads when using the paper cutter
There were containers of weed in the piñata. How much more Colorado does it get
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I almost had a threesome in a giant beanbag chair. I love college.
as a side note pls kill me
Let's just say when I woke up I was still drunk. My hangover hit me around noon so I chilled w my dad and took a bath and shower at the same time. You just can't do that at college
You were arrested in a tiara again... maybe you shouldn’t wear one.
Why does my mask smell like doritoes?
Feel free to drag me back to reality at your convenience
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