yeah i was sneaking up to her room and on the way i saw a picture of her and left
I feel like sober is me a distant relative that I only see on christmas..
her orgasm sounded like a fucking walrus crying.
im using old socks as coasters. im going to make a great housewife.
I have decided to cut my hair. This is based solely on the fact there is too much of it to clean vomit out every Sunday afternoon.
its preseason football. its like non alcoholic beer. who gives a fuck
He told me the color of his piss. Worst. First date. Ever.
And to add, there was a fat guy right next to me who, when the girls would shake their butts, he would let out a shrill xena warrior princess cheer
I can't tell if my bong is gender-neutral or not
Apparently we don't communicate very well unless we're drunk and/or naked
It all started with sending him a text about Spongebob. It escalated from there.
She can be as judgemental as she wants. But she thinks the female orgasm is a myth so who is really winning here...
Wait an hour then go and untie him. Bring toilet paper and some spare underwear. Want anything from Starbucks?
You should not be involved with someone who smells like that. Because that smell seriously does not go away. Even if you can't actually smell it at any given point, it will still haunt you
Unfortunately the rum ran out midway through our viewing and we had to suffer in silence for the rest of it.
Randomize
