You know how britney does the hair flip too much in her new videos? Thats me right now
soooo.. i guess the cop said he'd drop the charges if i go to some AA meetings and i said fuck AA. not one of my better choices.
The panties match.
I'll be right there.
Blonde 1 is sitting on the floor crying and blonde 2 is asleep with her face in the toilet. This isn't what I had in mind when they asked me back
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You insisted on drinking champagne out of the dog bowl
Finally another gay clarinet player. They're surprisingly rare.
my neighbors having band practice on sunday morning is a message from the universe that I should stop drinking
Every single person in NY is either baking, drinking, or photographing their cat. Reporting live from Instagram.
Start warming up your vocal cords, because Fucking With The Windows Open season has arrived.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
OK, but next time I'd like to be present for our make-up sex.
Last night was a whirlwind of vodka - induced emotion
the cop asked if i was drunk and i responded with "breathalize me, cap'n". incidentally, he was a captain and i blew a .13.
She tied me to the bed and did lines off my chest before sex. I’m going to put that on my bucket list just so I can cross it off
I can’t shake the image of her gigantic black unibrow. It’s like I got a blowie from Eugene Levy
Eventually the conversation shifted (as it always does) to Sex toys.
Randomize