she said she could "feel the heat of my groin" against her. ruined the whole fucking moment.
he said he doesnt sext because the government can tap that kind of shit too. no boobie pics for him.
I don't think the people up for their 8am class were as impressed with how many beads i got last night as we were.
well judging by the amount of dired blood around my nipple rings i'm gonna assume it was a good night
Just woke up with 34 slim-jims in my pocket. Too afraid to check the others.
I'll just get wasted and start throwing myself at men. Someone's bound to take the bait
...But it's not like we would be the first people to pay for an abortion with student loans and cell phone rebates.
I mean, I thought you would respect me for turning your life around for the better. It seems just yesterday that I found you in a ditch with a cock in your mouth.
BRILLIANT IDEA: In honor of summer olympics we need to start a synchronized drinking team.
Its raining shots and i keep catching them in my mouth like you with dicks shits crazy
Got home to the hotel 3hrs ago per texts sent not in english to not a full phone number
I just had to call my mom to come pick me up stoned at a Lana's house and beg her to buy me Taco Bell. I'm graduating from college in 14 hours. Fuck
So our bartender was in the bathroom the same time I was so I ordered a beer mid stream.....is that weird?
I told my dad that he was in a band and he was all like " good job" and then he looked up the band and listened to their music and just went " oh have you disappointed me"
There are only a few things more freaky than wandering around a zoo drunk.
Randomize
