can't come. weird drunk guy passed out on couch. long story, tell u later.
wtf. wake him up, call him a cab, get over here!
i just want to make sure he doesn't die. or rob me. plus it's facinating, he's faceplant on the arm of my sofa.
worst hand job ever. my dick is about as raw as that sushi your mom wanted me to try.
Just joined the godiva rewards club. Who's the fat friend now.
At one point we asked the guy to play "the lion sleeps tonight" with his bagpipes. Best version ever.
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He spent 6 hours at the ER after crashing a motorcycle and still came to the bar, Ofcourse I went home with him. He's my hero.
I used the picture of my mom and I doing blow job shots in Vegas in the presentation for my Spanish final. Graduation here I come.
I know everybody has skeletons in their closet but why are all of mine so slutty?
Yeah I figured you were blackout when you were Shakira dancing on the floor.
So which one of you fuckers changed my backgrounds while I was passed out to me holding a chicken like the statue of liberty?
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You showed your tits for hundreds of beads but magically became shy when there was food on the line
I found a blow up pig at an adult store. He will have to fuck that on video if he wants anal. Also, I bought a pair of clear high heels. Tell your brother I love him.
This feels more like a conference of all the people I've fucked in the past year.
Is kiddo a correct name to call someone who you stuck your dick in?
Moms love me. I'm the reminder that they need to turn safe search on.
I'm the one who said we should take things slow. I'm also the one who forced him into the back on my car so we could have sex.
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