I just convinced a girl to drink my spit cup cuz I said it was dark beer and would get her drunk faster. I dare you to try something better.
We were busted for public indecency in the back of my car in the parking lot. This time we were just reading my Cosmo magazine.
you told the bartender not to open the bottle because you were gonna put it in your purse in case you get cut off later
Yes, that's a picture of my balls. It isn't however an answer to my question.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
An accidental pregnancy to a guy with a trustfund is no mistake. It is a gift from god.
My vagina is depressed thinking about her future.
I think winning the long island race means you lose at life
I swear to Christ if it turns out to be an intervention, i will set you on fire.
Do you think Brian would let me smoke while we fuck? I'm not sure ill survive exams without a constant nicotine intake
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There is a 97.5% chance that my sketchy roommate is also a hooker.
So when can I meet her?
With a stable of 7 fuck buddies, I literally use a random number generator to determine the order in which I will booty call them on my way home from work. I have not slept in my own bed in a month. I just keep half my clothes hanging in my car or in a suitcase.
We're meant to be. Apparently God wants me to get dicked down pretty good too so I'm not complaining about destiny
I just had to explain my bite marks to my allergy doctor when she gave me my shots...You're the best <3
Just flash them and yell "JUDGE THESE BITCHES"
Did I honestly think it was a good idea to wear my pink robe out in public at 2 in the morning ?
Randomize