We will have to stop frequently for food, stretching legs, interesting things on the side of the road, and sex. So you might as well eat.
You admitted to me in secrecy that you want to jerk off a unicorn.
Remember when we were trying to guess how many people could fit in my shower? The answer is 7
Watching this movie and saying "drink every time you see an animal" was a bad idea...circle of life...holy crap
Princesses don't give blow jobs
i checked my sent messages this morning and i had apparently tried to text the bar, saying "idk what i drank, do you?"
Just stole a goat. Bringing it to your house to cock block. Blame the goat not me.
I didn't plan on sleeping with him until he told me his mom is deaf.. Then I felt bad.
Just pretend you're riding a unicorn through space. Thats how I deal with the stirrup situation at the gyno office.
I JUST WANT TO HAVE MILDLY SOCIALLY ACCEPTABLE SEX WITH HIM AND CALL HIM CUPCAKE.
I just used FaceTime as a look out while I got a blowjob in the library
I am the girl who goes to bed with her make-up on so that she doesn't have to fully redo it in the morning. I am obviously not ready to be a mother.
How does that even work?
I also made him write a nonfiction romance novel about what happened and to give it to me when the time was right
You don't have to buy me dinner, watch tv or even hang out if you don't want. Just fuck.
It’s like a sexy version of those choose your own adventure books from when we were kids. No matter what you choose, there will be penis!
Randomize
