No jewlry, no bra, and no pen. I couldnt be more prepared for a friday morning class.
They upped the price of Plan B! Rite-aid is going to be the reason I have illegitimate kids.
at least if we puke, we will be surrounded by beautiful, non-judgemental trees.
it was like a congratulatory penis slap
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he's just a really huge penis that sells weed
He told me the color of his piss. Worst. First date. Ever.
Bad breakup?
He posted a pic of me fully naked and smiling as he inserted a carrot into my vagina as my FB profile pic and then changed the PW, locking me out of my own account. So 500 of my closest friends, family, and coworkers now have that mental image of me on FB.
I have a present for you
Like a legit gift, not just me showing up and getting naked
Why the HOLY HELL is my dog on my roof??? Sam?? Why is the dog wearing my pants
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
also. got fucked to usher last night. dunno if thats a new high or a new low
Was it at least a good usher song?
In honor of the new administration, I'm going to make it my goal this weekend to get some lesbian action. Fuck Donald Trump and fuck Mike Pence. I'm going to be a spiteful gay.
Just woke up to Siri reminding me that i need to kill the giant orange spider in my room, because it's sorcery and witchcraft is sacrilegious. Did you give me LSD again!?!??!
My mom is coming to visit today & it's giving me anxiety. I feel like she can see through me & into the whore I've become.
I figure I since I made out with him that I at least had to save his number in my phone.
I'm not saying it wasn't great. I'm just saying sleeping with a gassy, depressed,45 year old mother was a different experience. Would do it again though.
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