Is it proper Ass-Fingering-Etiquette to tell her u felt her poop or just pretend it didn't happen?
i like that you affectionately refer to him as "creepy" ever time you talk about him
Someone left a beer in front of your door...there's a note with it that says "peace offering"
There's always time for handjobs
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we should drop off a car at the police station before going out tonight so we can drive home in the morning
After she saw a msg in his phone from me that listed the reasons why I love his cock, I don't think I can deny fucking her ex.
Nope. Too hot. We just sat in my tub with cold water spraying on us drinking coronas. This summer heat is killing my libido slowly
They said I was more of a mess than the German. I have achieved the unachievable, you may bow down to me
YOU ARE TAKING ADVANTAGE OF MY INEBRIATED STATE
YOU ARE DRUNK AND USED AND SPELLED THE WORD "INEBRIATED" CORRECTLY. I AM TAKING ADVANTAGE OF NOTHING.
I CAN'T HELP THAT I'M MULTITALENTED YA FUCKER
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
WE'RE NOT MAKING A DICK PIZZA OKAY
you know you're a stoner girl when you get a callus from your grinder
the hole that the tears left- fill it with pizza
This time tomorrow I will be drunk and in a voodoo shop
I'M HANGING OUT WITH THE DRUG DEALER UPSTAIRS JUST SO I CAN STEAL HIS WIFI PASSWORD, I HOPE Y'ALL LOVE ME.
My ex's sister asked me to be her date to Thanksgiving. Should I go?
Threesome!
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