He spelled "beautiful" wrong in his text
I woke up and she had breakfast in bed for me
RUN RUN RUN RUN
I got so high that I decided to drive with my knees on the way home. Where am I going in life?
Nowhere
I am not sure how to feel about the fact that I was turned on by someone with a penis. I can't believe Lady Gaga would do this to me. :(
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so we started it doggy style, but since we were really drunk kinda fell to the side and turned into a 'lazy dog'... my new favorite position btw
Well today was Thanksgiving Anti-Miracle Daydrinkathon so I had to be drunk by 2pm
I want to meet new people and vomit on their things instead\n
Masturbated before I came into work and now the finger scanner won't clock me in. Fuck Valentines Day.
If his smile makes you freak out and drop things imagine what his penis could do
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i've created a new STD.
You decided it was too difficult to walk down the stairs so you just rolled across his kitchen floor laughing like a maniac and trying to drink at the same time
You drink too much. You cuss too much. You have questionable morals. You're everything I've ever wanted in a friend.
I vomited out my contact lenses last night
Getting high with your mom, but thinking of you!
I'm sitting on the couch playing the sims, how's ur night going?
I'm sitting on my floor, drinking wine, and listening to bette midlers "wind beneath my wings"
Why are our lives so predictable?
Randomize