Don't come here someone got drunk and rolled the keg to buger king. no more beeer
but his dog just died...ill send him an edible arrangement or a 6 pack or something
I had to stop messing around with him for fear of laughing in his face. I swear it was a pinky finger in his pants
He's really hot. I think he's gonna be my reason to shave this winter.
I just realized that two weekends in a row we ended up in a bathroom with two different boys asking us for a threesome. does this happen to everyone?
WHATEVER CLASS IS PLAYING "TOOT IT AND BOOT IT" AT 8:30 IN THE MORNING, I WANT IN.
I brought his matress to the living room we're laying on it listening to rick james drinking vodka
I am the slutty bisexual glue that holds this friendship group together.
I stole something. Which direction out are you guys gonna go
Our relationship needs a sober moment
I'll call you when that happens
What guy invites over a booty call, gets all naked and then when the real fun begins and a condom is needed, claims to not have one? And wears socks THE entire time?
you grabbed the breathalyzer at dinner, blew a 0.20 and told the waitress you'd eat her ass
my vagina can't handle any more of our 4 day long smash bash. it should be like a holiday or something. should only happen once a year.
And on the way out from Applebee's he tried to take the basket of toothpicks claiming he was using them as a tax write off. Last time I babysit my dad on thirsty Thursday.
Holy. Shit. I just remembered all the lapdances....
Randomize
