you kept eating the heads off the gummy bears and screaming 'euthanized!'
i just threw up in a potted plant at home depot
How do you tell someone they are only invited if they put out?
Hi. I probably already told you this mid puke, but thanks again for babysitting me last night. How did I get in the car?
He made off the wall shots in beer pong, stuck the girls dog in a cooler, and played with swords with her mom. I wish I got his name
I dont even remember coming home... All my stuff is strewn randomly around my apartment... And I woke up at 5 sitting propped up in my bed with just my arm in a shirt
I have no words
Neither did my mom, when she walked in on me squating with my balls in a cup of hot water.
I couldn't finish the episode and had to lay down because the snapple commercial with the mustache was blowing my mind
I'm now having weird sexual fantasies about that riverdancing figure skater. So thanks for that.
I just want to braid flowers into his hair and steal all of his pills.
I can't have my last hookup before 21 have been behind a dumpster
Was Mr. ROBOT good? I missed it. I just fucked dental hygienist on the trampoline in my backyard
I had sex upstairs in my parents house, and my mom texted me and said "those raccoons are out of control in the walls."
I'm torn between regretting everything and regretting nothing.
LOOK AT HOW SMOOTH THIS BITCH IS
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