O no, u 2 are dating again?
No. I just masturbate furiously to his picture
He lasted like 30 seconds. With a condom. I just expected more from the president of a frat.
watching "look who's talking now." getting choked up at the end when they find each other at the cabin
doesn't that movie star kirstie alley and have talking dogs in it? new low...even for you
Yo. I have a shitload of cardboard. We have to build a smoke hut in the smoke room with a tunnel connected to a cat house. This way the kitty can join us whenever she pleases
i convinced her i need a blow job every morning to wake up because i have a medical condition.
You could probably play six degrees of separation of my cock in this city.
i think maybe i'll just not watch it. i'd rather not think of you as a magical transforming set of dick holes.
How dare you. Idk what you called me, and neither does google translate, but you better take it back.
And then we made hashbrowns with vodka and queso.
Dude, he threw a pool chair off of an 8 story building. It was a successful night I'd say.
He was an asshole the entire night and then tried to touch my dick in a Michaels craft store.
Sooooo, no second date?
You were drink-wine-from-the-bottle drunk trying to take everybody's blood pressures again.
Okay so it turns out that my bf keeps a log of every time I sleep-fart. It's dated back to 2013.
I'm a dude in a dress, who came to a party with Holly GoLightly, got hit on by Bambi's mom, and wants to do terrible things to Link. Halloween is weird
for future reference, singing eye of the tiger outside my door while i am having sex makes me incredibly uncomfortable
apparently not uncomfortable enough for you to stop
Randomize
