I thought if I stared at him long enough he'd walk me to my car. but he didn't. he dddidn't. i rreally thought i had those powers.
this guy had a colored tattoo of Chucky on his leg, whatever drugs he does, i want them
To be honest i'm almost glad he got arrested. His girlfriend and i kept making out so i'm pretty sure the alternative was a threesome. Now we're just the trashy girls who visit him in jail.
Mainly I just wanna pet bunnies. And purple chicks. Well any color chicks if I close my eyes. But purple if I open them.
I think he's hit rock bottom. You know it's a low point in life when you cry because you weren't invited to sit in a box car and watch porn with two other straight dudes.
exhale infront of a fan. self shotgun.
Bonded with the ladies at the perfume outlet by saying "help me smell like i'm not hungover before my shift starts". This is not where I wanted my life to be
To the point, I hope I remember where to put my dick when I finally get laid again
You have a 50 50 chance
Now we're discussing the sex we had and the later lack thereof. It's like marriage counseling via snapchat.
Give me an out of order sign and caution tape and we can have sex practically anywhere.
So my ex vomited in front of my door and passed out there
He told me to keep watching the Grammys and then went down on me.. I think I'm in love.
bonus check + party bus = big hot mess
Of course you try to burn the house down on the one night we take down the smoke alarm so we can use the fog machine more
when you come over can you bring tequila and my birth control? Thanks girl!
Randomize
