my professor just told me i smelt like a brewery infront of my whole class b4 my final presentation
At some point I made a semi-conscious decision that i was okay with sleeping in my own vomit.
His mom walked into the kitchen smiling, made a scotch on the rocks, hit my bong, and told us goodnight enthusiastically. He's suddenly more appealing to me.
You stood up gave the stripper 15 ones in a wad, hugged her and then sat back down.
This girl did not understand, once police sirens go on, road-head needs to STOP
All I remember is apologizing to his sister for being a bad influence while I was throwing up into a big gulp cup.
yea, their son has been arrested on more than one occassion, their daughter is pregnant and their other daughter graduated but she was adopted, so clearly genes are everything.
I knew you were blacked out when you started refusing beer.
So if a girl goes for it you're gonna stop her and tell her you gave up ejaculation for lent?
I'm trying to seductively eat these M&M's to let her know its on
He's gonna be so upset when he get's a real job and can't do serious drugs.
Would it be inappropriate to send a friend request to the sheriff that fingerprinted me last night???
I just got a robo call from the Addiction Help Line. Not sure how to take that.
I'm not sure if I should pay him or he should pay me, but someone should get paid for the sex I had this morning.
(440): please tell me you didn't have sex in my dress.. IT'S A VIRGIN DRESS.
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