Booty call?
Dude you don't even follow my twitter
if hell is full of stilettos, fake tans, bleached hair, overused make-up, drawn out s's and blatent bitchiness, then i'm in hell right now.
Lol welcome to greek life
If Jimminey Cricket were here with me he would be so disappointed.
so I ended up banging her last night
dude I remember her. You sure it was a her?
i don't even remember
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
At what point are you a chubby chaser or just desperate for sex?
We can't have sex anymore. The amount of money I've spent on meds and copays for UTIs is getting ridiculous
Today I learned you can't titshake with a corset on.
The background of my phone is you taped to the wall wearing a cowboy hat
am i new drunk or am i still drunk
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
oh my god. picked the worst day ever to not wear underwear...
I'm just gonna stop you right there because there is, in fact, no such thing.
The not so cute guy next to me made me play Kid Rock on the jukebox but I'm a big believer in free drinks so I obliged.
I like to listen to classical music when I eat taco bell. I think it cancels out the aura of poverty and desperation.
I'm gunna wear a purple dress, so if you see someone looking confused and lost wearing purple it's probably me
Guess who just stumbled into work hungover, wearing yesterday's clothes, covered in hickeys and glitter, and carrying a giant bottle of rum in her purse.
I just took plan B at work.
This is the greatest story of all time.
she wouldnt leave because they were playing One Direction. I'm dating a thirteen year old.
Randomize