Mr ***** is in bed with his super hot wife giving her 18 inches of pleasure
Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
normally I beat off every night before I go to bed even though my little brother sleeps in the same room. So I was starting to last night, and he jumped out of bed and said "Fuck, Im not listening to this shit again" We havent talked since. fuck me
She had to get her inhaler in the middle of fucking...but she kept it in.
Just woke up next to our cab driver from last night. Please tell me this isn't happening.
I feel I should make it clear.....I'm not stalking you, I'm stalking ur dick. You don't even need to talk when you get here. At 4am I think we'd both prefer that anyway.
by the time the kitchen caught on fire everyone was too drunk to be alarmed. the host just poured beer on it to put it out. how was yours?
He's def the type to chop us into bits whilst screaming "NAPA BITCH". AKA my type
I. Did. In fact. Sprain. My liver. This. Weekend.
What's the standard Christmas present for six months of booty calls?
Mobile recharge?
so she gave me back a bag of clothing, had some boxers in it...they werent mine.... well that sums up 5 years of my life
I haven't included my nuts in a shave since the Shaq/kobe Lakers era. I gave my self the ol full court press in order to change the tempo.
I'm glad you don't care about kids. That's one of your better qualities.
Idk, but the girl in his story had really nice eyebrows and was singing The Climb. How about you CLIMB the fuck away from my man
FORGET THE EYEBROWS
Get to the bar now. Ryan is single again and every skank on campus that has heard story about his dick is circling like a shark. A cock hungry shark
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