I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
Note to self. Condoms are not microwavable.
Dipping chips in queso and thinking of your beautiful face
Well, technically I had a shirt on, it was just around my waist.
He just "revenge puked" on her kid. I think we'll be leaving soon.
It's been a wonderful constant drunkeness. We played Marco polo with some random like 8 yr olds in the kiddie pool.
I just found a wine bottle in my shower. Must have been a good night.
For Valentine's Day I've purchased six lighters and I'm decorating them for him. I'm on a full ride to an art school and this is what I'm using my talents for. An intervention is needed. Please stop letting me date stoners.
I mean you guys are my friends and all but if you fuck with me I will not hesitate to set you on fire
My biggest accomplishment thus far this summer is having sex 5 weeks after hip surgery.
he said he'd buy me TWO burritos if I took my shirt off
I was just thinking about if my bath water turned to jello and got a little freaked out
Mom has wine in a to go cup. It's that kind of night.
I just showed this kid my nipples to work my shift tmw
Working from home has been great for my sex life! A few of my neighbors are in open marriages and several more wish they were!!!
Randomize
