sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
Acid is not a monday night drug
So, apparently I made everyone omelets last night. Even when I'm drunk, I'm still a trophy wife.
I AM OVERLY HIGH AND OVERLY AWARE OF MY TONGUE IN MY MOUTH
He was trying to hotbox the banana suit. Of course we traded him for vodka.
I had to put a towel over my laptop because the little power light was too bright. New hangover low.
Just do let me go home with anyone especially I a guy with a hair sweater
Just got kicked out of two hot tubs. We were naked the second time. So awkward getting out in front of the security guard.
Hey dude this is some next level no homo shit but im gonna get 2 tickets to the opera and go Hail Mary on this one girl. U take the extra ticket if i fail.
I mean metaphorically speaking, maybe we've all fucked on top of a frat house at some point in our lives
I agree and I would be an awesome dog
Bringing my mom Taco Bell and weed. I'm such a good daughter
I was gonna make a strong case for you to be my midnight kiss, but poptarts sound good too
You know that thing where you wouldn't typically eat ass but you're in love with him so you want to eat his ass, because it's HIS ass
I'm going to force her to break up with me this week. Tonight I plan to shit the bed. If that doesn't work I'm not sure what's next.
Randomize
