Fun Fact: The stage were about to graduate on is where we once drove a van and kidnapped someone.
Fun Fact 2: My parents are sitting by the bushes I peed in this weekend.
Drinking wine out of an empty soup can and watching spongebob squarepants.. I eveb hate myself
You guys tried to boil water to fill up the empty hot tub. After the fourth trip back with the kettle you gave up.
Thanks for talking me down from peeing on his window last night.
I am now curious as to how you would have aimed.
first party of the semester tomorrow. thinking of wearing a huge sign that says "my summer was good" to avoid the 67 questions and get straight to drinking
Well it looked like you were having a fucking apiphany sitting at the toilet with a t shirt around your head
From time to time I think I'm happy for a second and then I remember how a guy stopped me from giving him head on my birthday weekend.
Well, that now makes it the 4th girlfriend in a row to cheat on me. I don't even care anymore...I'll date a prostitute and not even worry.
You stole a fry from a complete stranger. He wasn't happy. Then you said fuck it and stole the whole poutine and ran down the street while he stared in shock.
WHY AM I CRAWLING IN OLDER MEN HOLY JESUS
Red flag bro. Her only friends are barflys and a teen with a fake ID
MORE IMPORTANTLY I THINK I JUST WATCHED SOMEONE GET SO LONELY AS TO TURN BISEXUAL??
Just got a ride from a stranger while walking a mile home as it hailed with no coat. He asked me if I smoked, then said he just made some potent cookies and I could have one.
The cookie was what I originally wanted to tell you. Always say yes to drugs from strangers
Finally hooked up with her. She bought me tacos after because "she can do better in a bed". You're gonna be my best man.
I FUCKED THE WRONG FRIEND HELP ME
Randomize
