We agreed on being friends w/ benefits. Lets see if that really happens.
Ok, so that was not supposed to go to u, my bad. I feel horrible.
She kept saying my hands are a cupcake factory
Missed another period
I almost hope you're pregnant, this is unfair.
Does anyone know who that girl who fell backwards and broke the shoe rack with her head was?
Just say its a British thing. They wont know Its not. And if they say you're not British, proposition them for a post-sex game of cricket.
Oh and my new excuse for not being able to hook up is cholera, feel free to use it
A man that refers to my vagina in third person is a man after my own heart.
I just realized that every possible way I walk to campus I walk by the house of someone I slept with
at first i said "no rollerblading if I'm going to be drunk," but we all know how that went
I'm floating on a 30mph cloud right now not giving a fuck
I biked home blackout drunk last night, but I have some memory of throwing my bike in a rage when I couldnt get it down the stairs. No idea on the bright orange puke in the sink.
The true debate: do I prioritize going to bed and getting more than six hours of sleep or do I prioritize washing out various grease, leaf bits, and jizz out of my hair
A respectable fucking: good but like I don't want to get kicked out of my hotel room
he tried to have the "are we in a relationship" chat last night. I stuck my fingers in my ears, yelled lalalalalala very loudly at him and told him I would stop having sex with him if he ever tried that conversation again. bad person, or just being a realist?
Imagine we only get one cock for the rest of your life. I’d pick his dick. That good!
Randomize
