do you ever lay in the bath and watch the blood hit the water?
EWW. Don't discuss your period with me. You can go shave your back now.
kerrys trying to convince everyone in the bar shes a lesbian. cheers to not being the drunkest girl in the room. i probably wont piss myself tonight.
Also, the wait staff kept prematurely clearing my Manhattans. Not sure if it was an oversight or a hint.
Don't count me out just yet. Considering bartering a blowjob to see if that boy from work will take my shift.
It's a system.. i get to hook up with them and you get to play words with friends with them afterwards.
The funny thing is, we kinda did bring guys home cause you had a fort...
I am sending my doctor an XXXMas card thanking him for my tits!
The spirit of America is being too hungover to celebrate America right?
you got drunk, told him he looked like shaggy and said 'I wouldn't show you my mystery machine for all the scooby snacks in the world'
My moms new boyfriend looks like Stu Pickles if he was in a biker gang. He gave me free coke though, so come party?
I don't think he likes that I'm always sending him pictures of me in my bra but he needs to get it together
I woke up this morning fully clothed with a dart in my pocket
Just found a note on the bed that said "Dear mittens, had to leave early I'll be back soon."
WTF? Are you mittens?
you know your booty call is really trying when he offers to pay the toll for the bridge you have to cross to get to his house
I think I left my bra and my crocs in your room
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