they bought blue cups instead of red...wtf how am i supposed to pretend im on laguna beach??
Just saved her as "new hostess that randy banged" ...I forgot her name
I envy the lives of milf's kids, the little kid grabs her tits and she just laughs and says not now
Dude... Hand job in the lake... It was as weird as it sounds.
Help. All alone. Room is. Changing colors. Dance party 2010, but without dancing.
Stop leaving me alone with my ex boyfriends after keg challenges. Woke up in his bed covered in what you think would be cum. No...toothpaste. He left a note. "Be home at four. Don't be here when I get back."
I need to beat up a magician now. BRB.
That number that I thought was that dude's number...was actually my district manager's number. Fuckkkk.
On my way, five mins. Is the line long? Do you think they will they hold a pumpkin at coat check?
My body is like , remember when you wouldn't let me puke last night? Good luck at work fucker.
I was afraid she wouldn't be able keep up but I woke up in a bathtub, she called me a pussy and made me pancakes.
I'm going to get old and fat one day... probably pretty soon and I'm not going to have any pictures to show to my cats of what I once looked like.
Then he kissed my hand sensually and said "you're a Black Queen. Don't let anyone tell you different."
I like the new guy, he keeps beer in the fridge.
When we were finished she immediately got up, cut a star out of a piece of paper, colored it gold, taped it to my chest and deemed me the Sheriff of Sex.
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